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Frank Farrelly Masterclass April 30th 2004 
“In provocative therapy you play devil’s advocate with the client. It’s like the affectionate teasing banter between close friends – you side with the negative half of the client’s ambivalence about themselves and their life’s goals” Frank Farrelly 2004 I first heard about Frank Farrelly while assisting on one of Dr Richard Bandler’s seminars when he famously commented, “If you think I’m wild, you should meet Frank!” From that moment on I was curious about what such a meeting would produce and on April 30th 2004 in Bournemouth, I got the opportunity to find out! Frank began the first day by introducing himself and commenting that as this was a smaller seminar that usual, each delegate could introduce themselves and their reason for attending the seminar. The delegates came from a variety of backgrounds, including hypnotherapists, sales and marketing directors and other professions with individuals travelling from as far a field as Mexico! Frank began the morning talking about the development of Provocative therapy and explained that he was the ninth of a family of no less than twelve children and that he had learnt much from his family upbringing. Interestingly in the first hour of the seminar, he commented: “Anyone can be hypnotised, anyone can be gotten to…” Frank Farrelly He explained that Provocative Therapy seeks to elicit five types of behaviour 1. Assertive behaviour 2. Self affirmatory behaviour 3. Realistic and appropriate self defensive behaviours 4. Psycho social reality testing behaviour 5. Behaviour that denotes communicating positive messages including warmth, affection, friendship, sexual attraction and love. We were then given the opportunity for “interviews” or 1 on 1 sessions with Frank which were recorded and which we were then able to take home if we wished. Once this opportunity was announced, the group reacted with a mixture of apprehension and excitement. The individual sessions each lasted 25 minutes and Kerrin Webb one of the Eos seminar organisers, was charged with the responsibility of announcing when 25 minutes were up. The group also collectively agreed not to talk amongst themselves during these sessions, but it was ok to laugh aloud in response to what we heard and saw! The three interviews addressed a variety of individual questions and Frank skilfully built rapport with each person and wonderfully set up “counterpoints” to each delegate teasing out more of what was at the root of the question, by provoking each delegate into reconsidering their initial perception of the “problem.” Frank speaks in a relaxed tone that often masks some of the more outrageous comments that are carefully constructed and which if taken out of context could be considered quite bewildering. One of the delegate’s wishes was to lose weight and Frank suggested that the delegate could be happy to be seen as being more “Buddha like” commenting “Why not relax and let the Buddhist blubber take over?” Each delegate was given the opportunity to feedback their reactions to Frank and the group. These reactions included feeling “churned up” feeling “spaced out” and in some cases feeling “pissed off” One of the delegates suggested that there were similarities between provocative therapy and homeopathy. Frank was lightening quick in responding to client’s and interestingly commented that he didn’t have predetermined ideas when relaying stories to clients, but it was clear as an observer that he was building rapport with each delegate on numerous levels whilst at the same time offering wonderfully provocative considerations. During the last half hour of the day, Frank talked about his work in parapsychology and specifically remote viewing as well as being a speaker at psychology conferences. From having seen Frank up close, its clear to me that he is a real one off like Milton Erickson and Dr Richard Bandler. One of the delegates asked if his stories and questions were random and whether he pre selected his subject material before starting each session. Frank indicated that he simply started talking and let the conversation unfold. As an observer I noticed that he is highly intuitive when working with clients and made each delegate feel totally at ease while at the same time making suggestions that were both outrageous and highly amusing! As he mentioned in the first hour of the day, humour is a key tool in provocative therapy. Frank also mentioned that he managed once to listen to a whole eleven minutes of Milton Erickson before falling asleep, not due to boredom, but extreme tiredness! When discussing the use of metaphors he lamented at how some therapists would focus on one single metaphor for the duration of an entire session, “wringing the life out of the metaphor”. When one delegate to my amusement asked if Frank’s stories were entirely random, he responded by saying that he was just an old guy who didn’t really know what he was doing. The only other person I have met who is as sharp as Frank is Dr Bandler and I doubt that his approach would be anything like as effective had he not modelled Frank in his early years! Frank is as sharp as they come, working on many levels simultaneously and from what I have seen, nothing slips by him… Day 2 Day 2 began with Frank asking if anyone had any feedback, questions or observations from the previous day. The subject moved to the application of provocative therapy in specific clinical situations and Frank explained that the number of client sessions could vary immensely from three to as many as ten. He also interestingly commented that when dealing with schizophrenics you have to “Take your professional dignity and throw it out the window in the service of the client” Frank called the moment when a client assumes responsibility as “the bingo moment” and suggests getting the client to vocalise this statement three times. He commented that many breakthroughs as statements usually “blurted out!” We then continued with further interviews with a delegate commenting that he had a problem for many years. Frank’s immediate riposte was “kind of like a pet?” He then enquired exactly how many years the delegate was referring to. The delegate responded that this “problem” had been troubling him for 30 years. Frank’s response was “that’s not a problem, that’s in the marrow of your bones!” I remembered that Frank had stated on day one that there was no point in attempting to get to a safe vault through the reinforced vault door, far better to get in from another place, such as underneath. This is an excellent metaphor for Frank works, often frustrating the client into revealing to themselves a different perception of what they previously imagined their “problem to be! Frank sits close to each client in interview situations and touches them at specific moments within the conversation. I refrain at this point to describe this as anchoring because when asked specifically about this Frank mentioned that he had met Dr Bandler in Santa Cruz but when previously asked about anchoring commented “I know nothing about sailing” The provocative responses from Frank continued with in further interviews and it became clearer and clearer to me how much he uses a combination of razor sharp humour and attitude to change the client’s perceptions. When a client said, “Tell me more”, Frank responded with the most eloquent tonality “fuck you and the horse you rode in on!” Later in the day an interviewee commented “I really need spirituality” to which Frank responded “Have you ever considered fucking a member of the clergy?” All of these outrageous comments flowed perfectly within the warm and friendly banter that Frank had carefully set up between both parties. The environment of friendly banter meant that the comments still have a powerful impact, but in a safe surrounding. In the afternoon, I finally got the opportunity to work on an individual basis with Frank and to have a recording of my own session. I found Frank once again to totally defy my expectations and to be working on so many levels that quite quickly my “NLP brain” lost track of what was happening. I realised that I was in the hands of a master communicator and within minutes, he had totally changed my perception of what I had previously considered a problem! Frank quickly established rapport with me and within the first two minutes, and had nailed the heart of the subject with the phrase “Well that is wonderful”. At one point during the interview, I completely lost track of what we were discussing and went into a total state of confusion. My three reactions to Frank and the interview were great humour, confusion and mild annoyance with myself for reacting in such a predictable manner to my situation! On listening back to the recording later in the evening, I found it to be hysterically funny and noticed how much Frank had already mapped out how I tended to operate and through his method provoked me into viewing my situation in a quite different manner. I also noticed that he had “analogue marked out” all the delegates and addressed each delegate with a specific voice tone and rhythm. I also realised that “provocative” does not necessarily mean aggressive, rather that through provocation different scenarios are teased out of the interviewee. Provocation literally meaning “to call forth.” During the final part of the day, we got into threes and started practicing some of the provocative therapy exercises to great effect. I realised that this is a completely different approach to any other therapy I had come across! This view was further confirmed when I read our handouts detailing specific exercises for the provocative therapist. The first two exercises were “don’t help the client” and “blame the client”. I was in hysterics when a further sheet entitled the “provocative therapy blame list” detailing how the therapist could effortlessly apportion blame for the client’s problem to a whole range of factors. These include destiny, family, history, the mind, nature and society – in short anything but the patient themselves! Bizarre as this all may seem, I am finding even within two days that Frank’s provocative therapy is extraordinarily effective and is unlike any other approach I have to date encountered. I can already see how this approach is going to be a valuable new skill set in client and business interactions. Day 3 The day began with Frank introducing the metaphor of having the right tools to fix stuff and having the skill to know how to identify and communicate with who would be of most use in fixing something. He talked about the usefulness of assuming an attitude of humility when “going into another’s territory” The first interview of the day was with a delegate who mentioned that he thought he worried too much. I began to now notice a pattern in Frank’s interactions as within the first minute he set up a strong visual image as a metaphor commenting; “Boy you have a slow dick” He then went on to suggest that the delegate had “timid sperm”. After the interview, the delegate commented that he felt a weight had shifted from him and that he felt genuine warmth for Frank and the time he had allocated to his situation. Frank commented, “One of my main aims in provocative therapy is to move the heart” He also revealed that: “With guys I buddy buddy them and then walk into their hearts and minds” I also noticed how Frank would often ask the client about how old they were, what has happened to them and what will happen. In short, he set up timelines of possibilities for each client to consider. Another strategy in provoking the subject was to comment on their level of intelligence! When one of the delegates asked about working with alcoholics, he commented that many therapists in these sorts of situations feel overwhelmed by their situation and that was actually often the best place to start. The most fascinating demonstration of the day was when a delegate asked Frank about how to resolve “failure patterns”. Frank then proceeded to give an explanation of how in life there are winners and losers. When she asked if losing could sometimes be useful, he replied; “Yes for the winners” Having set up this proposition in such a digital manner Frank continued for 25 minutes to maintain this central theme. When the delegate asked about how people may put up barriers for defence, Frank commented; “A lot of winners put barriers up against losers” The next morning some 14 hours later, I still found my mind pondering on this interview… Day 4 The day began with Frank talking more about his work with schizophrenics and one in particular who claimed that he was from another planet. This patient would only speak in this other planet’s “mother tongue”. After working with the patient for some time and responding in his version of the “alien language” the patient responded with his first few English words, which were “Fuck you Frank”. I was greatly reminded of many of similar Richard Bandler’s stories and couldn’t help noticing that Frank’s work predated NLP and so I wonder what NLP would have been like had Richard not modelled Frank in Santa Cruz all those years ago… “I approach what the client avoids” Frank Farrelly One of the things that continued to impress me about Provocative Therapy is how removed it is from the conventional classical psychological approach. Frank spoke about how he would often start talking to clients about body image, which he viewed as the easiest way into the client’s self-conscious. He also commented; “I tune into the client, but sometimes I don’t address what they say”. I noticed that over a series of interviews Frank would address core issues through masterful use of metaphors. He talked extensively about his 50 years of working with all kinds of patients and commenting; “I never push a highly paying resistant client.” As I began to track the different interviews in more detail, I saw that recurrent themes would begin to appear. I noticed that in many of the interviews he would present a strong image to the patient in the early part of the interview. He would then begin to provoke the patient into considering a wildly different alternative to their current model of the world usually with tremendous humour, which would result in the patient incapable of not discovering substantial internal changes. A typical response would be one of complete confusion as their maps changed significantly, often within the first minute! “I feel like a psychological social chameleon” Frank Farrelly During the last section of the afternoon, Frank discussed using Provocative Therapy in working with couples. He would seek to elicit each partner’s expectational list. For the women he would ask the men how their husband would rate them in the following way – • As a companion • As a mother • As a partner • As a cook • As a sex provider When turning to the men he would ask how the women would rate them – • As a provider • As a companion • As a man around the house • As a father • As a sex provider “My interviews are my paintings” Frank Farrelly The conversation shifted to discussing the many different systems of psychotherapy and Frank observed that although the systems can help with understandings its “people that help people”. In describing Provocative Therapy he commented; “A lot of people can’t tolerate the degree of ambiguity in this stuff”. The final question of the day posed directly to us was; “Did we get our money’s worth?” This is was one of the best investments in time and money I can recall and I shall be certainly training with Frank again in the future. Like other, true, innovative genius’s Frank is a real one off. So if you get the chance to see him, grab it with both hands, but prepare for an experience like no other… |
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