Frank

Nick

Alright do we have our contract?  Good Okey dokey – Nick?

Yes I have guy, that I, a number of businesses I work with and one of them I have a guy I work with which absolutely drives me crazy because our ways of operating are so different and he what he tends, he um set up a business and how he tends to work in relation to the business is often very reactive or procrastinates horrendously so we don’t seem to find any middle ground in anything.

So you have to things his way.

Well that means the company doesn’t progress in any particular useful direction

Well whose company is it?

Both

Well who got there firstest with the mostest

Ah well that would be him

Him, you’re both equal so whose more equal than whom

Well that depends on ability or whether there is

Oh fuck ability it depends on who gets his way more frequent

Its about even

Well who gets whom to do more work than whom?

Well I don’t know, we do different bits in the company

Yea yea yea who gets whom to do more work than whom

I, I get to do more work

Well that’s wonderful who gets how do we split the money that whom earns when who is not there?  Or is it 50/50?

Its not strictly 50/50 because he works less hours than I do so proportionally he gets more than I would get

Alright, say suppose he works 45% of the time and you work 55% or whatever but he doesn’t just get 55% he gets more well cleaver him he’s got a sucker on the string

Well I mean I have the benefit of having whatever flexibility I want which allows me to do other things

Alright flexibility costs

Yea

Yea, OK so while you’re paying for flexibility he gets paid for procrastination I mean I think its just the guy tell him congratulations from me for finding a sucker like you

Well yea I’ll pass that on

Well yea

Mmmmmm

Yea that’s the way it is a lot of times in business you think bottom line lies na there are a lot of other goodies and perks, and you know bottom line lies etc you know, and I get paid more because I work longer hours exactly to the he works 37.5% and you work da da da 52 or 57.5% and you get exactly no and its half and half and guess who gets better on this split right

Well its not so much the financial side its more the frustration that the decisions that are made tend to impact just makes life a lot harder in terms of being

For you

And for the business as well

Well alright but he still procrastinates

He has two ways of behaving completely reactive or total procrastination

Alright either way the guy sounds like a winner you know as long as he has you on board, eeeeeeeee, sits back and smiles took me a while but I’ve got old Nicky going ha ha.  Yea

That’s actually quite accurate

Well what do you know about that I guess I got quite lucky 

OK

Or something

I mean If I look to influence him he sees it as being a personal attack

Exactly, which it is well lets not say I look to influence him.  You try a little arm twisting you try a little you know stick of cherry balm up his rear end and you know etc it doesn’t makes him go faster just probably slows him down more ha ha ha ha god these stubborn types and procrastinators dither you know.  Mr dithers.  Yea.  Are you a forge ahead kind of guy just get these things done digital, sequential, logical rational, oh god its just like shooting fish in a barrel with a shoot gun I mean you ought to feel guilty the way you’re so easy tell him I said so

Yep OK

I mean dealing with you and handling you and getting making you more faster by moving slower for him its just so easy I mean how many years has he been doing this to you

Its been about 7 years

Oh shit he’s probably got it down to an art form you know.  I know I can’t answer that, do you realize we have to get this thing out, by Thursday, last Thursday, well its somewhere did I give it, no you didn’t Looking through stuff.  Oh Jesus.  Oh sets the teeth on edge of a poor soul who wants to progress because time is scheduled and we’re gonna get this done on the schedule, on Tuesday we get this done and you get this all the time?  Oh Jesus he can just drop one wrench after or spanner in the gears and sit back and just laugh up his sleeve just watching you  jumping around trying to well the guys got his entertainment built in

That’s true

Well that’s you, so well whats the problem

The problem is I have too much invested in the business to walk away from it but

How much

7 years worth of work

How much

Well

Don’t give me well, well is a whole in the ground how much

Well I have a 30% stock share in the business

Which is how much

Probably 50/60,000

Ok alright

Yes but worth having

Well yea It’s a little teeny tiny best pocket company OK, alright how much has he got invested

A bit more than that

Alright so he gets to make you dance, he invested more so you provide the entertainment you know

OK but I get to be able to do a lot of other things

Well alright so he allows you to you know play around with this go fiddle with that OK you probably think this is really good a good bargain or something

Well its good to have the flexibility to be able to set up and run other things which are probably more long term viable

Yea alright but one of these days you’re gonna really make some money out of this or something or what

Well we’re already making money out of other things

Alright you gonna have some prestige or some of those good professional goodies gonna come flowing in or something

Yea

Alright then he sort of by well if were if he didn’t dither or procrastinate then he might interfere with you making something out of these other things

Yea yea

Tell him we thank him

Mmmmm

Its so paradoxical but the very you know arsehole son of a bitch drives some people to it turns out that they actually should be thanked.  Reincarnations said well you two were together before an stuff like that and he was the straight guy and you were the arsehole OK well so now lets switch this bye bye I’ll be the straight guy and you be the arsehole OK if that’s the way you want it whatever I can do to help your soul involvement I’ll just set your teeth on edge til you eeeeeeee hooray reincarnation ally  the guy is owed a world of thanks           by you

OK

Well some would say.  The next time he’s acting like a totally arsehole an dithering and you know and delaying and procrastinating you can just come in does he have an office?

Well we’re all in the same office

Well alright you can just shout across the stacks of papers that need to be gotten out but aren’t getting anywhere cos he just hold onto them or he can’t locate anything cos he just so dam disorganized and say you can just take your reincarnational contract and shove it up your arse where the sun doesn’t shine you know what huh.   you know well you told him you know that kind of thing

Well that might work

Huh yea what contract I didn’t make any contract, yea, reincarnationally you did well or something like that.  Its just such a delicious feeling being right.  Well what you wouldn’t know that but I’m here to tell you.

How old are you

45

Do you ever think, god well how did I ever get hooked up with this dildo I don’t?  Do you ever think

Yea

Well how did you ever with the dildo I hate to bring this up

We are we were friends previously and er

You’re not talking previously incarnated are you you just mean before you started the business

Yea he asked me to help out basically

Help out

Yea so I have other business as well so I just work there part time

Yea

And things developed from that

And you probably thought well he’s taking me more and more into his business and things are going so well I’m gonna have da da now I have a certain amount invested in this and congratulate yourself on how well you were doing and he did and he was taking you in, good ole buddy you know yea then you started changing your tune you were humming to yourself about him

Well he did suggest maybe that I bought his share of the business for 200,000 cash which didn’t go down too well

No cos you didn’t have the 200,000 or you didn’t want the whole business or both

Yes both

Yea yea so whats the problem you know he had a business which you didn’t want you know and here he’s being such a burr up your arse he’s getting you moving you know.  And he dithers and you know some disorganized or whatever and then here you which makes you more focused, , organized, digital, sequential problem solving just yea which really cranks up your problem solving ability or energy levels or whatever the fuck you know and he goes into his inertia routine yea yea

Yea that’s very true

Epitomizes Newtons what is it second, third or whatever the laws on motion the body keeps doing whatever the body’s been doing if somebody doesn’t come along and interact with that body and punch him in the or whatever, whatever

So whats the problem.  I mean lucky you you know to get an irritant like this just cranking you up you know.

Well I can see it like that but I still find it very frustrating

Well of course because you’d like to think that you shouldn’t need a burr up your butt and on it to have to get started.  Well some guys do they just do they want aw one of those burrs in their arsehole or they’ll just sit around.  I thought this was supposed to be out of here Thursday, well it was.  Well whats the fuck it still doing here on your desk.  I thought it should have been on my.  Well I wanted to get around to looking at it to see you know if the grammar was right cos you know he wrote it he’s grammar is just god awful.  Checking for spelling, look at this right here well I don’t know if it’s a typo or spelling ughhhhh look theres another on page 3 too.  Do you ever get someone elses teeth on edge you know

Do I get someone

Yea like some customer coming in and saying wheres the report on dada da you know

Not usually

Well alright do you ever explain that my partner is a little bit ha how can I say it ufus doofus and I dither whither and a

Oh yea yea that’s the kind of thing

Ah that’s why I mean I or me you know me I would have be in there like a shoot and I would have had that thing 5 days earlier on your desk but I’m carrying the lead weight around because of some reincarnational debt that I don’t know, what I don’t want to know this crap this meta physical horseshit just get me the god dam report you know

So whats the problem you know if you just crank it up a bit more get those things out what

Well the problem is well the problem is for me is that every time I think about the situation it just drives me nuts.

Well alright you can go nuts but get the god damm paperwork out you just sit their with just your teeth crunching those dental bills going on your dentist.  You’ve got to relax I mean you’re just gonna have mastoiditus or whatever the fuck you know or lock jaw I tell you permanent lockjaw.  You go yea well if you had to work with that prick my so called partner you’d get lock jaw too you know.  Well boy he sure sets a fire in your arse What – its almost like magic isn’t it what did he do nothing.  That could start a fire in a guys arse right real fast

OK

Oh shit

You got pressures you know you’re your deadlines, pressures customers who want this by such an such at the latest kind of thingey and you always add an extra month in for the lead weight.  Oh I think I should be able to get oh I say hows September 1, September 1 yea but I’ve got to factor in the lead weight in Mr Inertia, Jesus and you factor in time ahead of time for that

Yea

See what see you’re adapting to him that’s really great What

I’m not sure that’s really great

Well I mean it shows your adaptive capacities you know are flexible enough you know and your jaw is totally clenched you can still be flexible that  that’s multi tasking.  Daaaa you know and still be flexible

That’s good news then

Well for him I wouldn’t say its good news for you ha ha ha yea dam I tell you all this stuff for productivity and constructivity and positive and you know and do it yourself movement and all this happy horseshit how about lets somebody else do it I mean shovel the load on somebody else you know if you just stay green on your load well you just get a buddy you can just lean all over.  You know and let him.  Some guys don’t have the brains that god gave a turnip but if you lean on them they grunt and work harder instead of just collapse which any smart enough guy would do.  Only lean on me then splat down they go hey what the fuck I’m leaning on your for support and you just collapse like a read in a hurricane   hey baby that’s just me I’m not gonna be your stalwart pillar of strength.  I’ve got enough just carrying my load let alone  half of yours too.  Huh have you estimated how much of his load you are carrying.

A lot of it.

A lot of it how much

About 80%

80% of his plus 100% of yours that’s 180% god dam that guy sounds brighter and brighter to me.  Oh you cleaver little shit boy. Man just tell him I send my admiration. 

I will yea

Yea.  A guy like that can be a captain of industry a CEO just start delegating not by sending out typed memos and stuff like that just kind of leaning, collapsing, dithering man I don’t know why we have him for a CEO he just does nothing yes but it’s the way he does nothing.  WOW Some people can do something and its not as much as somebody else doing nothing and even being late in doing nothing you think well his nothing but hes on time.  Ha ha god dam.  A thing of beauty is a joy for ever.  Some poet wrote that.  Well it’s a beautiful thing isn’t it.  Well we’ve been partners in business for – how many years?

7

Seven years god almighty do you think if you could have seen looked ahead and seen if you could have thought it back then that you could have tolerated something like this for 7 years.

Mmmm

Say no

No

No.  How many more multiples of 7 do you think you could

No not more less than one multiple

Ahhhh

 I have contingency plans you see

Contingency, smengency how about 7, 14, 21

No

After a while you know you start to say well all businesses this way 100% 180% not exactly you get used to being his water boy his sharper

Sherper

Lugged it up the shit I climbed it just cos it was there No 1 and No 2 I had all these dum comfs there lugging the load

Less than 7

Less than 7, come on boy, 6 years 11 months I’m outa here aw come on by this time you can do it as natural as breathing.  You got this no oh no never mind I’ll do it you do it you cover up for him you polish it up you do the OK alright.  Bear yee one anothers burdens wrote St Peter and thus fulfill the law of Christ.  Carry each others burdens well some lazy arsehole says hey I like it I like it DUM see what I mean I’m just practicing Christianity.  Ha ha load it on Nick aha.  And theres always some sucker around in any group or organization yea I can do it ask a busy man.  Anyone else will say oh I don’t have time for that.  You ask a busy man.  Are you busy?

Yea I’m pretty busy

Oh OK so what do you do you don’t give it to the guy just picking his nose you give it to the busy guy.  The busy guy likes to be busy he likes to have goals pressure and time tables he likes to get things done.  He likes that.  People think why I don’t know but the more I dump on him the better he treats me.  Ha ha yea I mean you think where the fuck is the rhyme or reason to this well there isn’t and.  Its just busy guys and inertia guys there a real pair – balance.  Yea

Ha ha

What yea

OK

Mr Inner meet Mr you know Busy.  Well I’m’ certain happy to meet we should be partners.  You get 50% of the income and do 180% of the work around here.  I think its marvelous.  How the hell did he, I know he just snuck it past you whilst you were being busy.  I don’t know I’m just so busy I just don’t notice some of these things till it was too late.

Basically yea

It’s a joyful thing to see things going on you know got the administrative flow chart you know and it turns out that some secretary four levels down is keeping the whole fucking company you know going right for you

Ha ha

So Nicky Wicky did you have any reactions to any of this

Yea

Mmmmm

Yea at one point complete confusion where I was thinking what the hell was going on. 

Frustration with the situation but also at the same time seeing that my frustration was my reaction to the whole thing.

I also found it quite amusing at the same time but I just felt myself sort of being drawn in to what you were saying.  And part of me was looking to anticipate what was happening and part of me was thinking what on earth is going on.

Yea I’m trying to anticipate but I can’t figure out what the fuck is going on

Yea

Well that can interfere with a persons anticipatory response reactions

Well there was one point where I had not idea what I had started off talking about

Well you can cure your mistake on that by the tape you know how the fuck we got to talking about this.  Any other reactions

I feel a bit spaced out by our discussions

Well it sounds like a pretty spacey business partnership so you’re entitled you know what I mean.

Yea

Well if you think of anything else let me know.